He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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