wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
