I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
