She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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