I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
