watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wish i was in the wii world.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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