Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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