your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sext me about skeletons
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
