This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
