she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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