you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
