never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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