well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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