this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
