I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
