Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
