i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dignity is for republicans.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
