we made out on top of his cat.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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