Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
