Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
