And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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