ya dads aren't the best wingmen
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
