he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
In America we eat man semen.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
