I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
