i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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