i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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