He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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