I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
