Having a random hookup so left but love u
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
