but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
