yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
