he thought i was a dude.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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