Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
