Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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