I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
