Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All the doctor said was why
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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