How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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