But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
