Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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