Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
