Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
