I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
