Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
