I wanna passion pit in your ass
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
