therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
