She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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