Joe is yelling at the trees again.
someone owes me an orgasm
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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