is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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