oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
