fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
