READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
