So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
not ubering you a puppy
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
