drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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