I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
