Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
