He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
